Dealing with a Deadbeat Mother
As most of you the Fire/Ems side of my life thru my other website, there is another part of my life that only my close family & friends know. After years of dealing with this matter on my own (in a sense of the word) I feel it is time for all to know. I am the Father of 2 Teenagers, whom pays his Child Support/Back Child Support each month in a timely manner.
Now I DO NOT have a problem with paying my Support nor Back Child Support, it is owed to my kids & all attempts are made to make it is paid. However, the problem is a DEADBEAT MOM. I apologize for the term used, but if fits not only for the DeadBeat Parent who refuses to pay Child Support to his/her kids, but also for the Parent whom feels the Court Orders of Partial Custody/Joint Custody/Visitation DO NOT APPLY TO HIM/HER, in my case it is my Ex-Wife.
Do you know what it is like to have your (then 16 y.o.) son sit across a table from you in a Counselor's Office, that you have not seen for 10 years, the following: "Life is like a Game of Chance, You are a chance, when I feel the need to pull that chance, I will call you until then don't bother me." then get up & walk out of the room?
Do you know what it is like to sit down, listen to a Police Scanner & hear of a shooting just around the corner from where your Teenage Kids live? But you can't call them up to see if they are ok? Simply for the fear of your Ex would then call the Police up & make false statements of harassment about you?
Do you know what it is like to sit in Family Division Court, with either your kids sitting across the room from you or down the hall? Knowing you cannot say anything to them, nor look in their direction to smile or wave, because your Ex would then have a Deputy escort herself & the kids out of your sight for "their safety." Even though you NEVER done anything wrong to harm them!
Do you know what it is like to go thru a DRO Meeting (Generations Steps) with the Ex, as she makes a false statement pertaining to having a "current" PFA against you, then a few moments later you & your party are escorted out of Family Division by 9 Deputies? The truth of the matter is: There WAS NO PFA AT ALL!
Do you know what it is like to deal with arrogant Ex in Family Division with the Lies & Deceit that is being told each time to a Hearing/Enforcement Officer or Judge.
Do you know what it is like to be awakened @ 3am by a knock at the door with an Officer standing there handing you PFA Paperwork & telling you to stay away from the residence of your Ex & kids?
Do you know what it is like to have a friend attempt to serve the Ex with Court Documents (of a up coming hearing) while you are standing down the sidewalk, the Ex snaps, threatens your friend & you, then calls the Police.
Do you know what it is like to sit back, watch friends with their kids, the laughter they have together, the laughter they create together, the good times & the bad time they share together? Picnics, Family Outings, walks in the park & so forth?
You see I have gone thru quite a bit of this & a lot more. I have a Partial Custody Order with a Reunification Process that was signed may 17th, 2004 within the Court of Common Pleas, Family Division, Commonwealth of Pa. However, My Ex has simply refused to comply with this Legal binding Court Order & this is not the first time either!
I have gone thru the countless nights of not sleeping, laying in bed worrying about my kids, worrying if they are safe, have a decent roof over their heads, food on the table for them to eat, decent clothes on their bodies for them to got to school in. Worrying that my 16 y.o. daughter is not getting pregnant, or my 17 y.o. son is being shot @ because of the neighborhood they live in. Worrying about their schooling & grades, whether they will pass the grade they are currently in to the next.
To speak with a Children, Youth & Family Intake Worker about an incident that involved your daughter of possible child abuse. The Case Worker @ first asks you: "Are you sure you are the Father, because Mom explained to me that you (or the child's father) died a few years back." To speak with your son's 9th Grade School Counselor & be told the same thing or even this: I am but, Your Ex has me understanding that you have no Custody Issue or paperwork @ all. (In the meantime, you are standing there handing the Partial Custody Order over to the same Counselor.)
While reading your Daughter's School Records, you find information in there that is completely false! such as the following that were stated to School Officials in 2001: "Father has been incarcerated for various crimes including Child Abuse." Daughter suffered seizures @ the age of 2, due to be possible Child Abuse ("Shaken Baby Syndrome") @ the hands of her natural father." No child has EVER suffered any type of abuse, including my own by my hands at all. I currently hold my Act 33/Act 34 Clearances thru the Commonwealth of Pa & have always held them with no problems, nor questions.
These are just some of the things that have happened over the long years of trying to obtain custody &/or even partial custody of my 2 Teenage Kids. After the games have been played thru the Courts by my Ex-Wife, the Mental & Emotional Damage that has been done to my kids by my Ex-Wife. It something very hard to deal with on an everyday basis, the mental & emotional pain that I have endured over the years, of my kids not being allowed to know the other side of their family.
The Family Division Courts are "starting" to see quite a bit of light in the way the "other side" plays their games within the Family Court System. The countless number of hearings that we endure in order to see our kids for even just a brief few hours or days is not enough for our kids to grow properly in a mental & emotional status for today's society.
90% of my dealings within the Family Court System have done under Pro Se rulings. I cannot afford an Attorney to do everything, just as much as quite a few others cannot. My immediate family & very close friends have been there as my emotional, spiritual & mental support thru the past 14 years. It is now about time for us the "Other Parent(s)" whom have been denied our rights to visit, spend time with & help our kids grow to stand up fight the best we can.
It is time for all to know the "Other Deadbeat Parent" by getting the information out in the open for all to see, read & understand. A Deadbeat Parent is not just a Parent whom refuses to pay their current & back child support, a Deadbeat Parent is also the parent whom REFUSES to comply with Partial, Joint Custody & Visitation Orders.